1 post tagged “heartbroken”

(This has also been posted to the public part of my Vox site)

What I have been hinting at in the "Changes" and "End of the line" posts are a divorce.

I do not wish to talk about all the reasons, but dh and I are moving towards a divorce. At this time it looks like I will be moving back to Denmark and try to re-start my life there. Some people have told me that I could stay here in the US and as much as I like that idea I don't think I am strong enough personally to do it. I don't have any family, have never worked, never got a drivers license etc.

In Denmark I do have a little bit of family left, though it isn't much and I can get a lot more public support than I would ever be able to get here in the US.

My head understand the reasons, though my heart is so far from acceptance and understanding as it can be. Maybe one day I will get the two to meet somewhere in the middle, but it is not going to be today or anytime soon.

I am hoping that maybe one day I will be able to cry tears and find relief and some kind of healing. Right now I do cry on and off but there is no healing and no relief. Nothing but pain and hurt and fear.

Fear for the unknown that is my future, fear that I will not be able to get on my feet again, fear that I will become too great a burden while staying with my brother and his girl friend, fear of loneliness, fear of never finding love for myself and someone else, just plain raw fear.